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Big Man Yes I Am

from Political Dinosaurs by Velocicrat

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lyrics

I am a big man yes I am and I’ve got a big gun
I got a tiny dick but I still want to have fun
I can’t drive a car or vote but they’ll let me have one
I’m a blessed born-again soldier for god so you better fucking run

I was paging through gun and ammo magazine in bed one night
When a centerfold straight caught my eye I could tell that she was Mrs. Right
So I got online and blew my wad I could tell that she and I could dance
Before I had a chance to hit buy me now well damn I just jizzed in my pants

I am a good guy yes I am and I’ve got a big gun
I got a wrist like a girl but I won’t be outdone
I’m about to cause destruction that cannot be undone
I’m a tin-plated god with a righteous cause so you better fucking run

Well they say that god made all men but the gun made them all equal
But guns just make it easier and simpler to kill more and more people
I can be a paralyzed quad, stuck in a diaper, on a vent, can’t get out of bed
But as long as I can still move my little finger, I can shoot you dead

I am a strong man yes I am and I’ve got a big gun
I got a feather trigger temper and I’m about to show you some
I’ll pull out the heat for any old reason, I don’t even need one
I’m a hot headed ape and I’m baring my teeth so you better fucking run

I want more and more I want to feel safe I just don’t feel safe anymore
From the towelhead terrorist bombers that I saw in the Whole Foods store
We’re in a war, you see, a war for our souls between us and the infidels
Oath Keepers, ISIS and the KKK, the difference is? You just can’t tell.

I am a big man yes I am and I’ve got a big gun
I got a tiny dick but I still want to have fun
I can’t drink a beer at the bar but they’ll let me have one
I’m a blessed born-again soldier for god so you better fucking run

credits

from Political Dinosaurs, released June 1, 2016

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Velocicrat Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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